**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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