Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
