And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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