you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
