problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
