There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
