If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
