For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize