I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Randomize
