love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Randomize
