This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
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