He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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