Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Tornado booty call.. dedication
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
