I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
