When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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