Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
How's work?
Spinning.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
