I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
