And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
