dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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