That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
You smell like stripper and shame
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
