I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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