like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
