its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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