More tranny stories later!
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Randomize
