Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
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