He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
