if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
