We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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