i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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