How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize