Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
