so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
