to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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