i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
