Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
