worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I just had sex on a roof
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
