Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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