I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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