the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Randomize
