If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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