why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Did I show you my penis last night?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
