did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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