Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
He did a backflip because drugs
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