Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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