There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
