Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
