And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
this will be a night to untag.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
