eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
