i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize