Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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