You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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