She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I deserve to be covered in dicks
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
