I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
