She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
