where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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