At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
