she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
