The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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