i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
