please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
