p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize