How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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