STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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