She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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