ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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