oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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