some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
